The blessing and the curse of being independent

I have had the blessing of being completely independent for the majority of my adulthood. I went from my parents house, to an apartment to a house, the later of the two in my name, paid by me. I always told myself that I wouldn't live with someone until I lived by myself and did it, all on my own.

However, I have, unfortunately been cursed by this independent-ness as well. I have always found myself taking care of other people. Whether it was letting my sister move in with me, or my friend Mary or boyfriends at the time. I had a boyfriend quite a few years ago that took full advantage of the fact that I was independent enough to take care of myself yet naive enough to believe that if I took care of him and his family, he would love me more. Two and a half years later I realized that I wasn't in love, never had been. But even though I wasn't in love with him, I was hurt, I felt betrayed and taken advantage of, and I told myself I would never let it happen again. I wouldn't be with someone unless I knew they could take care of me, even though I could take care of myself... Funny thing, history has a way of repeating itself.

Almost 3 years ago I met a guy named James, he managed and artist that I danced and did choreography for... I will use his name b/c I don't give a shit who knows him. When we broke up he made me out to be the bad guy which was bullshit...
I had been single for about 6 months before we started "dating" and 9 months by the time we decided to be together. He owned his own house, had a 10 year old child that he loved, had his own car, took me out, took care of me until we went to London. He promised us all success, and he lied. I should've seen it when he left his house to get foreclosed, his car to get repossessed and his child for an uncertain dream, but I was clouded and my "take care of everyone" side kicked in... I left London b/c I was broke... I paid for his plane ticket home, I let him and his friend move into MY apartment, I leased a car in MY name so he could drive MY other car. I bought a house in MY name for us to live in and I paid the rent and the majority of the bills. Then he had the nerve to get upset with me b/c I was staying busy with dance.

I finally told him he should move out and he said "How can you do this? I don't have anything, anywhere to go" and I was so done that I didn't care and I still don't. I was back in that space of naivety and hurt... and I told myself, I won't let this happen again...and I won't.

It's been two years since I've had a boyfriend and dating has proved to be a joke and even though at times I am lonely, I prefer to know that I'm strong enough to not be taken advantage of again...