Do what you love...

I heard something really profound the other day and thought This applies to me.

"I don't believe relationships are about compromise. You should do what you love and then find someone who gets their greatest pleasure in seeing you that way"

Some of you probably won't agree with this and will give the "relationships take work and compromise" speech but how many people have put their lives on hold to compromise in a relationship only to have it NOT work? Too many to count.

I love to laugh, travel, dance, be with friends, run, play with my dogs and ride shopping carts through the store... why should I have to give up or reduce the amount of time I spend doing the things I love to make someone else happy? Aren't I then taking away from my happiness? Why not find someone who appreciates you for the things you love and someone who understands that those things have made you the person they are in love with?

I'm not saying that you shouldn't compromise b/c that's life but compromise shouldn't be the MAIN factor of your relationship. If both people are extremely happy with their lives in and out of the relationship then it will be THAT much better.

Companion vs. Boyfriend

OK - now some people may not think that there is a difference but ask anyone who has actually been in relationships, dated and just "hung out" with people and they will tell you there is a difference, and a BIG one.

Definitions:
boyfriend (plural boyfriends)
A male partner in a non-marital romantic relationship.

companion (plural companions)
a friend, acquaintance, or partner; someone with whom one spends time or keeps company

Already we can see that a companion does not necessarily mean that you are in any way in a romantic relationship...

Commitment:
Boyfriend: You are in a relationship and he is Committed, 100% (unless he cheats and then you should just dump him). He is yours and only yours for the duration of the relationship.

Companion: There is no relationship status and there is no commitment. This is a person with whom you casually hang out with maybe to have coffee, go to the museum, talk about life, etc.

Obligations
Boyfriend He is obligated to get you presents on holidays and your birthday. Comfort you when you are upset, rub your feet when you've had a long day, send you flowers when you need a pick me up, buy you chicken soup when you're sick, blah blah, you get the idea.

Companion Is not obligated to do any of the above except listen to you when you've had a bad day. He is not obligated to buy flowers, or presents or any of the above. He is strictly meant to keep you company occasionally and venture out to places if you both have time.

Intimacy
Boyfriend
No holds barred, do/try/say everything. Sex is a big part of this relationship

Companion
Stick to the basics and either you add the sex element or you don't and if you don't it's not a big deal. This is not a booty call situation.

Now whether you agree with this or not is your own opinion but this is and will remain to be my opinion on the subject.

Pseudo-boyfriends

Having Pseudo-boyfriends is like test driving a car for a couple of weeks and being able to give it back if you don't like it. There's no commitment to it but you get to do all the things that you would normally do if it was your car to keep. You can take it on long trips, drive it around as you please bang it up a little, etc.

But when they start freaking out on you is it time to jump ship or just stand back and let them calm down? I recently had a pseudo ask what I'd do if I got pregnant. Well I'd obviously become a crack whore and sell my baby on the street for heroin... DUH. Seriously? Why, if we are being careful, is he even asking this question? Then he proceeds to complicate things by making ME feel bad for him freaking out. Look, dude, you're a pseudo for a reason which is that I don't want a boyfriend, I just want a warm body in my bed every now and then without having to be all "Samantha-like", got me? I don't want a relationship as much as the next hormonally raging male but a little comfort in my 2 minutes of downtime isn't too much to ask for. A Girl has Needs too.

Now quit being a girl and man up...

Who I am...

I will forever be the girl who can't sleep without the tv on...
I will forever be the girl who will dance anytime, anyplace
I will forever be the girl who loves that I have boyfriends that are only 4 years old
I will forever be the girl who thinks that marriage is overrated nowadays
I will forever be the girl who thinks peanut butter banana sandwiches are a good late night snack
I will forever be the girl who jumps on the bed
I will forever be the girl who will do anything to make my friends laugh even if I've had the worst day ever
I will forever be the girl who laughs at the most inappropriate times.
I will forever be the girl who would rather ask for forgiveness than permission.
I will forever be the girl who knows where everything is even in the chaos.
I will forever be the girl who can make a mean cheese quesadilla
I will forever be the girl who could kiss for hours.
I will forever be the girl who dances in the elevator when alone.
I will forever be the girl who pretends to be brave.
I will forever be the girl who believes she has someone watching over her
I will forever be the girl who believes that she was meant for bigger things
I will forever be the girl who wishes that love was something that she could understand.
I will forever be the girl who hides.
I will forever be the girl who daydreams.
I will forever be the girl who laughs at EVERYTHING
I will forever be the girl who doesn't take her own advice.
I will forever be the girl who flirts.
I will forever be the girl who says 'please' and 'thank you'.
I will forever be the girl who knows that her mother is the smartest woman on the planet
I will forever be the girl who can keep a secret.
I will forever be the girl who enjoys ANYTHING made with chocolate
I will forever be the girl who could live off french fries and cake
I will forever be the girl who fixes crooked pictures
I will forever be the girl who secretly avoids mirrors.
I will forever be the girl who wishes she was prettier
I will forever be the girl who runs when someone starts to get close
I will forever be the girl who tears up when she sees good deeds
I will forever be the girl who cleans in heels.
I will forever be the girl who can play a mean game made up word scrabble
I will forever be the girl who wouldn't change a thing
I will forever be the girl who doesn't waste time on things that don't work
I will forever be the girl who is thankful for her family
I will forever be the girl who knows that there's a time and a place for everything
I will forever be the girl who knows that everything happens for a reason
I will forever be the girl who knows that karma exists and she sucks
I will forever be the girl who laughs in the face of danger, as long as I'm wearing my cape.
I will forever be the girl who talks to God.
I will forever be the girl who strives to prove you wrong.
I will forever be the girl who refuses to date someone if his friends suck
I will forever be the girl who would rather listen to music than watch TV
I will forever be the girl who tests.
I will forever be the girl who is searching for the guy who will love her because of all these things… not in spite of them.

The Queen has spoken...a letter to my boss

...Now CYA before she throws you under the bus.

Dear Director of HR (a.k.a. Cuntzilla)

For the last year I have dealt with your paranoia and selfish work ethic. I like that you take credit for my good work and blame things on me when you eff up. I enjoy walking into work every day wondering if I'm going to have to kill you or not, it keeps me on my toes. Some women are just not meant for management roles and you, are one of them. I am all about breaking the glass ceiling and equal rights but you just make the rest of us look bad. Stop effing crying just because someone critizised you and stop blaming your mistakes and lack of communication on me before I shove that stapler in your eye. Our workers compensation insurance doesn't cover that...Have you noticed that no one wants to talk to you? Really? You must be either completely oblivious or completley naive, or just a bitch... I'm going with a combo of all 3. I also like how you talk to everyone like they are 3 years old, you know since we work in an office with a bunch of people who hold Master's degrees, and such. You are the reason that people in the work place kill themselves or their co-workers. You wouldn't know what the word "Mentor" meant if YOU wrote the definition. I would say it's been a pleasure working with you but then I would be lying, kind of like the time you told everyone you told me to do something but somehow "forgot to send me the email". Yeah, so good luck with everything... or maybe I should save the good luck for your next assistant. If you would like to say goodbye on your last day you can find me jumping on my desk and celebrating ...

Summer

1300 Lame Street

So people are lame, basically. Having newly single friends means I'm going out at a pace that would make Paris Hilton tired... ok, maybe not Paris, but the other one that no one really knows, with the "fashion line". Paris's party habits are hard to immitate, one because I can't sleep till 1 pm everyday and two I don't want to be famous for absolutley nothing. Not that number two has anything to do with partying but the point still needs to be made... I mean really, I want to be famous for nothing, how cool would that be?

I digress. So Dallas has some of the lamest bars ever.
Below are the requirements to enter the bar located at 1300 Lame St.
Men: Be a complete douche, on coke.
Women: Be a complete stuck up bitch, on coke.

I didn't chose the bar we went to last night but went b/c there was a friend there. Lets just say the ratio of ages of Men to Women was seriously off balance. In fact, I think I saw my parents there and maybe even got a glimpse of my grandparents... Go home Nana, it's time to take your insulin shot.
Here's a way to know when you're too old - When you start wearing loafers to the bar. Get a bottle of scotch and some cigars and stay home...

Is this what our society has come to? Really?! 20-something chicks looking for older men to take care of them and 40-something old men looking for a 20-something chick to bang for a while? Great and dandy if it weren't for the 60+ years that we've been fighting to prove our independence and worth to the world. The makers of Viagra are somewhere partying and toasting this epidemic.

Back to the lameness. I find it humorous that girls think they are better than everyone else in a bar. I want to stop them and ask "you do realize we're in the SAME bar, right?" I have a short temper and low patience for this stupidity and it won't be long before someone's getting an inside kick to the face. But really, can we all please stop being so lame?

The Day after Never

Lets just say I feel sorry for the man that marries me. Not only will this person have to deal with me and my sarcastic mouth and occasional off the wall comments but they will have to deal with the fact that I pretty much am the last person in the world that my family think will get married. After a conversation with my sister about me singing Madonna's "Like a Virgin" at her wedding (don't ask, still don't know the reference) we got on to how the speeches would go at my wedding...

Which reminds me, save this date "The Day after Never at 10:00 am", it falls right after Hell Freezing Over.

So basically my sister's first words in her speech will go something like this... "Raise of hands of those who thought this day would never happen"... nice, huh? After a 10 minute conversation we decided that instead of actual speeches at my wedding it's going to be a Roast, which also reminds me, leave the kids at home. A Roast without cussing is like, well, it's lame.

Poor, Poor man. I think my friends will actually throw HIM a party for making it past the 3 month mark.

The story behind the title

It went downhill after I learned to tie my shoes...

Is basically a testament to how independent I have become over the years which probably led to the fact that I am still single and refuse to let any man take care of me because then they have this thing with telling you what to do and I'm not a big fan of people (other than those that sign my paycheck) tell me what to do... you see where I'm going?

I am pretty much the I'll do it on my own and if I eff it up I'll call someone kinda chick... Although I'm not above calling an Uncle or father if my AC starts leaking water for no apparent reason. However, I will never ask a guy friend to do those things for me... weird, I know, but it's built on principal.

New at blogging

After reading multiple blogs and realizing that there are some funny people out there, I have decided to post my own. Although I know mine won't be quite so humorous and I am awful at grammer and punctuation, I still think it would be funny to share the days in the life of me.

A little about me:
I'm 27, single, and live in Dallas... that should be enough said but I'll share some more details with you. Dallas is one big epicenter of single-ness, it's a "be seen" city which is cool for a while then becomes a beating after a while. Oh, and I make up words, I should probably throw that in there. As I've developed a "no emotion" policy on life I have also developed a serious sarcasm problem which has turned out to give me lots of material to work with...