It's hard being a single parent

I give my mother an ass ton of credit for rasing my sister and I on her own. Having twins is already a pain in the ass but I wasn't the easiest child. As my mom says, I went from this little, sweet, innocent child to spawn of Satan in the matter of 24 hours. I remained the spawn of satan for a good 5 years. Drugs, fights, vandalism....you name it. All in the name of "discovering my youth" Yeah, the only thing I was discovering is what drugs I never wanted to do ever in my life and that fighting only gives you the reputation as a scrapper. My name doesn't really help people forget anything either...

My mom's cool as shit, and pretty much a bad ass... I'm still afraid of the woman and we're the same size. On top of that, my parents live out in the woods and I'm pretty sure my mom knows how to hide a body. Or, at least that's what she always threatened me with when we were growing up BUT I'm not one to test that theory.

She also gets mad when I tell my dogs to "tell grandma hi" - apparently 4 legged children aren't what she considers grand kids... but whatev.

Although my kids can take care of themselves for the most part it's still hard raising them by myself. I have to get someone to take care of them if I go out of town which isn't hard b/c I have the best sister in the world and she takes care of them. But it kind of puts a damper on all-nighters and sleep overs and that sort of thing. I always have to make sure the pups are fine...

Dang this single parent thing...

Things that go Bark in the night

I have two dogs. Two big, furry, hilarious dogs. (See pictures). They are, without a doubt, the biggest babies. EVER. The pit is afraid of his shadow, literally.

This is quite possibly because they haven't been exposed to male testosterone for any extended period of time. They listen and do tricks and they're cool but they are scared of everything. They could quite possibly the worst guard dogs ever...

Lately the big one has taken to barking in the middle of the night at anything and everything. Let me tell you, this is not a little bark but more of a solid, echoing WOOF. There's nothing better than being awakened from a sound sleep by a barking dog. The bad part, I don't even move anymore. I'm not afraid someone is breaking in or someone's near my fence, nope. I just assume the wind blew and freaked him out.. Great huh?

At least they SOUND scary when they bark.

Sugar-coated cereal and swing-sets

It's been almost a month since I've blogged but frankly fake blogging is not my forte so therefore I've waited until I had something to say.

I miss the days of sugar-coated cereal and swing-sets and albeit I'm not above partaking in those goodies, it's not on my regularly scheduled programming. It's now organic whole grain flakes with fat free milk (although I have THOUGHT about covering those flakes with chocolate soy milk before). I will admit (and my friends/family will back me) that I am eternally 12... I like coloring books and the zoo and cartoons. How I love cartoons. But why is it that as we grow we feel the need to leave those things behind. Why shouldn't I eat Lucky Charms for breakfast everyday(and dinner if I prefer) and eat a box of macaroni and cheese for dinner. Not even the good Velveta kind, I'm talking the uber powdery Kraft kind... where you have to add like a stick of butter and milk. The kind you can't eat with a fork because the cheese is too runny... THAT kind.

Why is it that we feel like we must leave our childhood behind?

When love was as simple as a punch in the arm from the boy you liked...
When Big Wheels were THE mode of transportation...
When I knew that the world was perfect and I believed in everyone and everything and fairy tales...

I want to go back to the days when I could ride my bike down the street and not have to worry about pervs. When it was acceptable to say whatever you wanted just because you were a child and didn't know any better. When climbing UP the slide was the way to go. When it wasn't frowned upon to play on the playground.

I want to be able to love life again. Don't get me wrong, I love MY life and the world that I have created for myself but I want to be able to love LIFE. Living, breathing, loving, laughing...LIFE. All those things we slowly start to forget about along the way. I want to sit down with a coloring book and a set of 64 crayons and color. I want to stand in front of the Monkey enclosure at the zoo and admire how much they are like us. How they act like children. How they like to play and laugh and just be monkeys.

I just want to be able to be...Me. The girl who laughs at EVERYTHING. The girl that doesn't care about what people think. The girl that will talk to whomever just because people are awesome. The girl that knows that life isn't meant to be boring, it's meant to be fun and an adventure. A life of no regrets.

There is only one thing that I wouldn't trade for the life of Sugar-Coated Cereal and Swing-sets. The ability to APPRECIATE living and loving and laughing. APPRECIATE my friends and family.

APPRECIATE that I can, if I choose to.. Eat Sugar-Coated cereal and play on swing-sets.